Fireworks light up the sky over Soccer City stadium in Soweto after the 2010 World Cup football final.

So, if this does not turn out to be true…have we screwed up everything that was possibly a naturally occuring phenomenon?

2010 FIFA World Cup
Image via Wikipedia
Brazil won the World Cup in 1994; before that they also won in 1970.

1970 + 1994 = 3964
Argentina won its last World Cup in 1986; before that they also won in 1978.
1978 + 1986 = 3964
Germany won its last World Cup in 1990; before that they also won in 1974.
1974 + 1990 = 3964
Brazil also won the World Cup in 2002; before that they also won in 1962.
1962+ 2002 = 3964
Therefore if you want to know what nation is going to win the World Cup in 2010, you only have to subtract 2010 from the magic number that we have determined: 3964.
3964 minus 2010 = 1954.
In 1954 the World Cup was won by Germany.

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2010 FIFA World Cup logo
Image via Wikipedia
Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,
1. Between 11 June and 11 July  2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on  regarding the  World of Soccer, and that w ay you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to  do this, then you will be looked at in a ba d way, or you  will be totally ignored.

DO NO T complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you  even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won’t happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs  in the fridge  at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body  parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to  watch the ga mes. In return , you will be allowed to use the TV between  12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please,  please!! If you see me upset because one of my team is  losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will  never ever know more about football than  me and your so  called “words of encouragement ” will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one  game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only  if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please  note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to  “spend time together”.
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if  I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.
9. Tell your friends  NOT to have any babies, or any other chil d related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a ) I will not go,
b ) I will not go, and
c)  I will not go.
10.But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11.The daily World Cup highlights  show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something  we can all watch?” because, the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World C up is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.
P /S
By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or A A.
Thank you for your cooperation.

Welcome to the USA, where you will always be a winner.

When not to condom historic rivalry.

An Argentinean condom company came up with this ad before a soccer match  to show the Brazilians what they were going to do to them.


Brazil won the match and their Football organization replied to the ad.

bra won

Buy Condoms Online

Presence of mind

Photo of the Danish national Kilogram prototyp...
Image via Wikipedia

John works in a supermarket. A man came in and asked John for half a kilogram of butter. The boy told him they only sold 1 kg packets of butter, but the man was persistent. The boy said he’d go ask his manager what to do.

John walked into the back room and said, “There’s a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter.” As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, So he added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.”

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot.

Which place are you from?”

John replied, “I’m from Mexico, sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?” asked the manager.
John replied, “They’re all just prostitutes and soccer players up there.”
“My wife is from Mexico,” the manager said.

John replied, “Which team did she play for?”

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