WOO(HOO)MAN! Then there IS hope!

Tiger Tiger – Tedious Tale.

…but how can we forget that Royal Bengal Version – seemingly unrelated but makes so much sense.

Buddy, my dad said it best. “Better to have your peace of mind than your piece of ass.”

crack

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. “Excellence” is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency…

Arnold Henry Savage Landor, Making sculpture i...
Image via Wikipedia

A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an Idol. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, “Do you need two statues of the same idol?” “No,” said the sculptor without looking up, “We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage.” The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. “Where is the damage?” he asked. “There is a scratch on the nose of the idol.” said the sculptor, still busy with his work. “Where are you going to install the idol?”

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. “If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?” the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, “I will know it.”

If that girl did that to me I’d show her something really cute, if you know what I mean.

Beautiful Pentax user
Image by Aedo Pultrone via Flickr

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a Rupee coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?

“No,” the woman replied, “I work for the Income Tax Dept.”

I hate to state the obvious. Just what we need for the weekend.

Everything is good for a joke.

Gwen was one of those UGLY women, so ugly it hurts, she never had a boyfriend. So she went to a psychic for help.

Honey! – said the psychic. You will not have luck in love in this life.

But after death, you will be a much desired woman and all men will fall at your feet.

Gwen left very happy and so excited, as she went over a bridge she thought:

“The sooner I die, the sooner my next life begins” She decided to jump off the bridge right away.

But, incredibly Gwen didn’t die!

She fell on the back of a truck full of B’s; she lost her senses and fainted. As soon as she recovered, still drowsy and not being able to see very well, and not knowing where she was, she started touching her surroundings, feeling all the B’s she mumbled with a huge smile on her face and said:

“GENTLEMEN, PLEASE!,… ONE AT A TIME!”

Gwen

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