Always be nice, you never know who’s watching.

Click this link and then wait

If nothing happens drag the beer to the right whilst holding the left mouse button down.

Bird, hit by a horse in their general direction.

Sometimes I feel as though the world I live in is just some big joke, like The Truman Show or something.

It's a ghost!

Image via Wikipedia

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
About 90 students raise their hands.
Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
About 40 students raise their hands.
That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
About 15 students raise their hand.
Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’
Three students raise their hands.
That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’
Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, ‘So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’
Ahmed replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

Palin Condoms – As Thin As Her Resume.

click to buy this IN STOCK

“I love me some crazy womans.”

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For me, Tim Minchin is the wittiest of them all. Not only is he very funny. He’s quick too.

Also see

“I was accused of stealing boxes on my day off. They had a video of a guy that kind off looked like me I guess. I was fired, but didnt mind because it was friday and I got high with my friend.”

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