Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? Cos the parrots-ate-em-all

Red parrotA guy’s mother is having her 60th birthday party, and he wants to find her a really special present. After weeks of searching to no avail, and

a mere hour before his mother’s birthday party is supposed to start, he finds himself in a pet shop. He tells the proprietor about his problem, and the owner says, “Why don’t you buy her a parrot?”

“A parrot?” the guy exclaims, “What would she do with a parrot?”

The owner goes on, “This is no ordinary parrot. He talks!”

“So? He’s a parrot – he’s supposed to talk!”

“Yeah, but this is no ordinary parrot. He talks like a human being – not a bird. He actually engages you in conversation! Here, let me show you!” And so the owner starts chatting with the bird, and sure enough, the parrot answers him – responds to him – even goes as far as asking questions of his own.”

The man is flabbergasted, but delighted. He’s finally found the perfect gift for his mother! He pays the exorbitant price of $5000 for the parrot and takes it to his mother’s birthday party. Unfortunately, there are so many people already there, that he only has time to present her with the gift without an explanation. The party goes late, and the man decides to stay over instead of driving all the way home.

The next morning, the guy awakes to the aroma of his mother cooking breakfast in the kitchen. He goes downstairs, and to his horror, realizes she is cooking the parrot!

“Mom!” “What are you doing?”

His mother replies, “I’m cooking the chicken you bought me for my present!”

“That wasn’t a chicken, Mom! That was a five thousand dollar parrot!”

“My goodness,” says the mother, “That seems like an awful lot of money to spend on a parrot…”

The guy is practically in tears as he says, “You don’t understand, Mom! That was a very special parrot! He talked – but not like a parrot, like a real human being – not a bird. He’d actually engage you in conversation!”

The mother stops and thinks for a few seconds and then replies,

“Well, he shoulda said something.”

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