Shakespeare from Facebook

William, though hampered by a stiff collar encircling his neck as awkwardly as a noose, managed to speak English without spelling

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mistakes, especially when he felt strongly about something. Like when he went to Venice to buy an English dictionary, the scheming Mir Chand sold him an outdated one full of Facebook lingo like cool, amazing, awesome, whatever, cho chweet and mind-it. He was so shaken when he read the dictionary that he wrote a complaint titled “Mir Chand of Venice” to the Controller of Dictionaries.

When his translator Lingaraj Mahapatra (fondly called Leopatra as Englishmen were incapable of pronouncing Indian names correctly), who used to translate William’s complex and incomprehensible verses into simple Oriya, fell down while fixing an antenna, he wrote a tribute called “Antenna & Leopatra”.

He also wrote an instruction manual “Melody On Reverse” on playing Beethovan symphonies backward. When Beethovan was dead and buried, his body found this book very useful while decomposing.

His friend Santa Singh was polygamous. William honoured him with a comedy called “Many Wives of Amritsar”.

Inspired by the Jim Carrey film “Liar Liar” he wrote “Keen Liar”. Unprintable happenings behind his back forced him to express himself rather strongly in “Ass You Lick It”. These unprintable happenings and the incident based on which he wrote the play “Gaming of the Screw” were subjects of passionate debate in respectable upper class circles.

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