Elvis is dead, and I’m not feeling too good myself.


A photograph promoting the film Jailhouse Rock...

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Jesus vs. Elvis (There’s no doubt who wins this one!)

1. Jesus said, “Love thy neighbor” (Matthew 22:39).
Elvis said, “Don’t Be Cruel” (RCA, 1956).

2. Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

3. Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd.
Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

4. Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone” (Matthew 4:4).
Elvis loved his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

5. “Then they took up stones to cast at [Jesus]” (John 8:59).
Elvis was often stoned.

6. Jesus was the Lamb of God.
Elvis had mutton chops.

7. Jesus was part of a Trinity.
Elvis’ first band was a trio.

8. Jesus walked on water (Matthew 14:25).
Elvis surfed (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965).

9. Jesus’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
Elvis’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

10. Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

11. Jesus’ countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow. (Matthew 28:3)
Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightening bolts.

12. Mary, an important woman in Jesus’ life, had an Immaculate Conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis’ life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

13. Jesus was a carpenter.
Elvis majored in woodshop/industrial arts in high school.

14. Jesus lived in a state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.

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