I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.
May 29, 1903 – July 27, 2003
ON TURNING 70 ‘You still chase women, but only downhill’. ON TURNING 80 ‘That’s thetime of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing..’
ON TURNING 90 ‘You know you’re gettingold when the candles cost more than the cake.’
ON TURNING 100 ‘ I don’t feel old. Infact I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.’
ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING’I ruined my hands in the ring … the referee kept stepping onthem.’
ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR ‘Welcome tothe Academy Awards or, as it’s called at my home, ‘Passover’.’
ON GOLF ‘Golf is my profession.Show business is just to pay the green fees.’
ON PRESIDENTS ‘ I have performed for12 presidents and entertained only six.’
ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER ‘WhenI was born, the doctor said to my mother, ‘Congratulations You have an eight-pound ham’.’
ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL ‘Ifeel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fightit.’
ON HIS FAMILY’S EARLY POVERTY ‘Fourof us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.’
ON HIS SIX BROTHERS ‘That’s how Ilearned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom.’
ON HIS EARLY FAILURES ‘Iwould not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff theaudience threw at me.’
Give me a sense of humor. Lord, Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life, and pass it on to other folks.