Happy Australia Day


Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and…… Only in Australia … can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia … do supermarkets make sick people walk all the Way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy People can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia … do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia … do banks leave both doors open and chain the Pens to the counters.

Only in Australia …. do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia … do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia … are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION…3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

And finally…. In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull Whilst throwing up into the toilet

IF YOU’RE PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN SEND THIS ON!

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!!!!

WARNING: Strong language

7 Responses

  1. Ummm, this is about as Australian as Kentucky and Texas.

    If you’re going to copy someone else’s work either a) say that it’s someone else’s or b) change it enough so it doesn’t look like someone else;s work.

  2. i saw this same email once onli it was onli in america…
    and i think it suits america better, hav this stuff isnt stuff to be proud of, it doesnt even take the piss out of sterotype australia, its jst shit that someone changed the country from america to australia

  3. in reply to caitlyn… um… that email sounds everything like australia .. dont like it get F!@#@$ 😀

  4. “Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.”

    That’s the stupidest fucking thing I have ever read. That applies to every fucking country.

  5. Yeah, why just Australia? This could apply to just about any country except perhaps for the Congo or Saudi Arabia.
    ========================

  6. Sounds more like a kiwi to me

  7. Gosh, all ya settle down and just let it be. It’s meant to be a joke email. Who cares if it’s correct or not…? I dont. Yeah it does sound more American, rather than Aussie… I noted that too, but why would I go about destroying someone and making them angry, just because I CAN?

    Read, enjoy and have a laugh. That’s what life’s about, not being negative and comsumed with anger. Try to be positive, looking towards the happiness that we know we all crave and well some of us Deserve. 🙂

    xox HAPPY AUSSIE DAY xox

    Whoa! FinalLEE a sane voice. Thanks and a happy Straya Day, Lee. – FE

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: