Man can I write a poem about this, chief? This is amazing!

“A vessel for cooking while travelling, in the olden days” – India

Language – Tamil

“If there’s a there there, there’s a road that’ll take you there.”

A Vintage 1924 BSA – still lives on

I’m sick of them. These corona puns are reaching fever pitch. I hope people dont die laughing if this goes viral.

‘Lockdown lingo’_ – are you fully conversant with the new terminology?

Here are a few terms to get you in the groove:

The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.

Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

Blue Skype thinking:
A work brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium”. Naturally, they are to be avoided if at all possible.

Le Creuset wrist:
It’s the new “avocado hand” – an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

Furlough Merlot:
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a “panicdemic”.

The elephant in the Zoom:
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

Quentin Quarantino:
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.

The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

Antisocial distancing:
Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

Coughin’ dodger:
Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

Extra make-up applied to “make one’s eyes pop” before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”.

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.”

RIP Irrfan Khan 1967 – 2020

Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Travel Puns inspired by the Quarantine.

Oman, I really want to Rome around.

Venice this wait going to get over?

You can’t say when this lockdown will be over, Kenya?

Quarantine has made my Delhi routine too boring.

I’ve been Washington’s of Utensils.

The Spain is real.

Stay home, stay safe. What’s the Russia?

Maybe Indore is not such a bad place after all.

It’s so Kuwait all around, I, at times, get an urge to be a bull in a China Shop.

I’m sorry, but Iran out of travel Puns.

The buffet was so luxurious he couldn’t decide where to start!

…also if attacked by a jungle cat… its fine, he’s just gonna grab you for a bit and move on.

Life…uh, finds a way.

“See… Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what’s that focus? That focus is all about HER! It’s all about her!” – Chris Rock

Do not forget your veggies.

The F1 racing car is an underrated fun machine!

From a video game
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