Politically Incorrect.

All the greatest hits…including:
Drinking Queen
The White Man Takes It All
Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
“S.O.S.” (Social Outback Services)
The Name Of The Game Is Blame
Does your mother know (you’ve been stolen)
Knowing me, suing you
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do (drink too much)
Lay All Your Handouts On Me
Ring, Ring (I got no bloody telephone cause the government wont give me one.)

How British are you?

What is a Good Friday Agreement ?  The Agreement – also known as[1] the Belfast Agreement (Irish: Comhaontú Bhéal Feirste) or the Good Friday Agreement (Irish: Comhaontú Aoine an Chéasta), and occasionally as the Stormont Agreement – was a major political development in the Northern Ireland peace process. It was signed in Belfast on 10 April 1998 (Good Friday) by the British and Irish governments and endorsed by most Northern Ireland political parties. On 23 May 1998 the Agreement was endorsed by the voters of Northern Ireland in a referendum. On the same day, voters in the Republic voted separately to change their constitution in line with the Agreement. The Democratic Unionist Party (DUP) was the only large party that opposed the Agreement. The Agreement entered into force on 2 December 1999. {read on wiki}

Defeating stupidity one person at a time…

This is a classic I thought, that would surely make it to the WTF section.

This is actually Tom's Restaurant, NYC. Famous...
Image via Wikipedia

Thank you for visiting the Eater Complaints Department, your unedited platform for voicing poor dining experiences, gross restaurant trends, and general underhandedness. Have grievances? Operators are standing by.

Typically, calls to the Eater Complaints Dept. run on Fridays. However, due to the outright weirdness of today’s complaint, it’s getting bumped up to prime time. Straight from a highly trusted and exceedingly polite operative, we present a batshit crazy night out at Le Petite Crevette with notorious (and allegedly “totally out of control“) Brooklyn restaurateur, Neil Ganic: {Read on}

I f****n knew a guy just like him…crazy duck! Quack!

Diamond cutter – He who mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

Odyssey: The Definitive Collection album cover
Image via Wikipedia

BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed! expressed.

and MY Personal Favourite!!

WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

When you were born…I… took off my hat and I… beat on the table with it! And I’m almost sure…I was smiling…

Cover of "Four Friends"
Cover of Four Friends

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, ‘My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied at night, earned an M.B.A. and soon began to climb the corporate ladder. And now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.’

The second guy said, ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually, he became an executive in the company, where he’s now the major stockholder. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday..’

The third man said: ‘Well, that’s terrific! My son studied at M.I.T. and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now worth hundreds of millions.  He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.’

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’

One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. …What about your son?’

The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a gay nightclub.’

The three friends said: ‘What a shame… What a disappointment. ‘

The fourth man replied: ‘No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him.

And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.

God, well… Some of the stupidest people in the world are working right here in India. I’ve always been very proud of that.

Indian Wedding
Image by Umm Papoose via Flickr

NB: These days, party crashers are a common phenomenon here in Chandigarh.  One has personally experienced the same more than once.  Please read on the following story for proper perspective.-SSN

~~~

It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments.

She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn’t know how to tell which ones were the crashers. Then her husband got an idea….

He turned to the crowd of guests and said “Will everyone from the bride’s side of the family stand up please?” About twenty people stood.

Then he asked “Will everyone from the groom’s side of the family stand up as well?” About twenty five people stood up.

Then he smiled and said, ‘Will everyone who stood please leave.  This is a birthday party.’

Here`s to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life`s problems~Matt Groening

Bachelor Party (film)
Image via Wikipedia

You know a bachelor party is good when 25 cops from 4 different agencies stop by”

A soon-to-be groom and two of his friends were expected to make their first appearances in court Monday, after a bachelor party turned into an all-out brawl on Sunday.

Spokane Valley Police say they received multiple calls just before 1 a.m. Sunday, saying that a man was jumping up and down on the hood of a car outside Goodtymes Pub on E. Mission.

{Read on}

It isnt “a load of crap” its ‘clever’ and what makes a lot of people ‘laugh’.

A caricature of film comedian Charlie Chaplin.
Image via Wikipedia

This is a basic backgrounder for Americans, primarily, who might think Europeans do nothing all day but bitch about Americans. Don’t get me wrong—they do love bitching about Americans. But they also like bitching about each other, as well. Bordering countries, especially, have complex caricatures of each other, even when an outsider might think they’re more or less the same. The following is based on my numerous interactions with Europeans, having lived there for 4 years. Here’s a run down: {Via} {More} {More} and {More stats}

Floored.

{via}pennyfloor

{Standard Hotel – New York}

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