I wish I could draw stuff like that. All I can draw are conclusions.

Graffiti by various artists.

Artist of the Day: Peter Gibson, is also known as Roadsworth, is keen that attaches to road markings city of Montreal more than a pretty kettle and a live appearance.

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I want Tiger back out on Tour so we can renew our rivalry. It’s not as fulfilling to cheat on my wife if he’s not out there doing it, too.

Tiger Woods Paper Mosaic

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home..

2. It’s important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.

3. It’s important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.

4. It’s important to have a woman who has a job.

5. It’s important to have a woman who likes you.

6. It’s important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.

7. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

8. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn’t lie to you.

9. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed.

And…

10. It’s very, very important that these nine women do not know each  other.

Sincerely,
Tiger Woods

title via : fake quotes -- Phil Mickelson

“When my pupils try to wind me up by saying they plan to marry a rich woman to support them, I ask them ‘what if she runs off with the caddy?'”

Think Rich Look Poor
Image by Gabriela Camerotti via Flickr

Beagy Zielinski is a German-born 28-year-old stylist who moved to New York to study fashion in 1995 and stayed. Just before Christmas, she broke up with her blue-collar boyfriend, who repaired Navy ships.

“He was extremely insecure about my career and how successful I am,” Ms. Zielinski said.

An analysis of census data to be released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center found that she and countless women like her are victims of a role reversal that is profoundly affecting the pool of potential marriage partners.

“Men now are increasingly likely to marry wives with more education and income than they have, and the reverse is true for women,” said Paul Fucito, spokesman for the Pew Center. “In recent decades, with the rise of well-paid working wives, the economic gains of marriage have been a greater benefit for men.” {Via}

“Man I’ve seen that picture for months and I get pissed every time I see it because I never found out who that girl was. It annoys me to this day.” I believe those feelings are shared by the entire internet.

{Make her smile Bigger}

YOU might want to consider that sometimes soooo screwed is actually tooooo screwed.

{Via}

{Via}

The old man’s pond.

Powerline reflection in a pond

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’

The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’

Some old men can still think fast…

Make sure you report back and let us know how it went. Do go there but try to keep it under 2000 words… please?

Jack & Jill in the act of tumbling down, accor...
Image via Wikipedia

Here is how any Indian TV news channel would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious.  If you draw inferences to any names mentioned may that be your problem and deal with it.

Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story.

Amrita Shah
Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons – Jack and Jill – had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant.

Prashant
Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill?

Amrita
Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack"]

Prashant
What news of Jack and Jill?

Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw.

Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled"]

Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together?

Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water.

Amrita And what happened next?

Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown

Amrita Go on.

Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after.

Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: "Water errand ends in tragedy"]

Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen?

Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jacks fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think were overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown and this is the key Jill came tumbling after. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped.

Prashant Professor thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Bush says rent-boy menage-a-trois was “just a brief lapse of judgement”, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. Well be right back…

Revised 60’s hits. Man, these revisions make me want a revolution.

Ear Wiggle

Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the “Limbo” as if it were yesterday .

They include:

Bobby Darin —Splish, Splash, I Was Havin’ A Flash

Herman’s Hermits —Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr —I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees — -How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?

Roberta Flack—The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash —I Can’t See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon— Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver

The Commodores —Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

Procol Harem— A Whiter Shade Of Hair

Leo Sayer —You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations —Papa’s Got A Kidney Stone

Abba—Denture Queen “You haven’t seen my teeth have you Wilma? Tony Orlando —Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy —I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Leslie Gore—It’s My Procedure, And I’ll Cry If I Want To

And Last but NOT least…

Willie Nelson —On the Commode Again.

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