Bring the troops home, the war on terror is officially over if the bears have finally joined the fight. I’ll drink a beer to that!

JAMMU: As the country bid farewell to goddess Durga, the demon-slayer, on Dashami and witnessed the evil king Ravana being vanquished on Dussehra, a humble Muslim woman in a remote Jammu village slew a dreaded Lashkar terrorist

Exhibiting astonishing, raw courage, Rashida Begum took on the two terrorists who had barged into her home late Sunday night in Thana Mandi village in Rajouri district. The woman, in her early forties, grabbed an axe and swung it wildly, killing one of the armed terrorists and injuring the other. Seeing his partner meet a bloody end, the other terrorist fled in sheer dread. {Read On}

Bear kills two Hizbul infiltrators in cave

SRINAGAR: It seems these are the worst of times to be a militant in Kashmir. First, a Lashkar-e-Taiba terrorist was axed to death by a teenage

girl in Rajouri roughly a month ago. Now, a bear has mauled two Hizbul Mujahideen militants to death as they hid in its cave in Shopian, South Kashmir.

According to defence spokesman Lt Col J S Brar, the two commanders dared to colonise a bear’s cave at Darwal Nar in Pir Panjal in Shopian and paid for it with their lives. For, late on Sunday night, as the two slept, the bear came calling.

“It attacked the armed militants and killed them on the spot,” Brar said.

It was only on Monday morning that an Army patrol party saw two bodies inside the cave and, on frisking through their clothes, found that they were Hizbul Mujahideen commanders. {Read on}

 

When your mind cannot make up just what to say.

{Via}

{Via}

Thats some pretty crazy shiat, honestly.Thank you, don’t come again.

Image via Wikipedia

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Black Lips vs. India: 1-0

Dear fans,

Unfortunately, we have had to flee the country of India due to having our whole tour canceled and having to escape being held by police for indecent exposure during our most rawkus set in Chennai at the Campus Rock Idol showcase.

After the fiasco, which the kids seemed to like, the financial backers of the event were furious and threw us off the tour. They tried to get security to restrain us until the Tamil police arrived. We locked the door while they were kicking and banging on it. Meanwhile, we slipped out the other emergency exit.

When we got to the hotel our tour guide informed us that the that the Campus Rock Idols sponsors were pressing charges and that the police would make their arrest. At that point our tour driver informed us we would have to drive six hours to get to the next town and cross state lines where we would be out of the Tamil authorities jurisdiction, because apparently the jail in Chennai is no joke. Word on the street said that it was teeming with tuberculosis, violence and live maggots so instead of risking going there we fled the scene. The drive ended up taking 10 hours because of a horrific accident on the road. We were also informed that all of the shows on our tour had been canceled effectively fucking all funds for the trip. This was a cultural clashing shit storm.

When we got to the next hotel a mysterious man and someone who worked for our Indian booking agency tried to run off with our passports they got to the car when we caught them. That’s when our VBS.tv documentarian Rob went postal on them. We surrounded them until they gave back our passports. After that we booked the first flight to Berlin to instead work with another Indian, King Khan, on an upcoming EP. We are flying out as soon as sunrise hits this far away land and we have to have the US embassy’s phone number on hand in case any more troubleshit starts popping at the airport or something. We would like to thank the four Hindi speaking tour guides, and Rana Ghose for helping us get through these enormous trials and tribulations, and for future reference we really enjoyed the people of India and we hope western rock bands will be able to tour there in the future.

- The Black Lips

{Also Read}

{Wiki Sez) – The Black Lips have a reputation for crazy live shows that have included vomiting (Cole’s medical condition), urination, nudity, band members kissing, eletric mini-car races, fireworks, a chicken, and flaming guitars. The frequency of the group’s outrageous stage antics has declined, as they claim to have matured “a little bit”. Regarding these stage antics, the band said: “People and other bands and club owners can get really mad. We have gotten kicked out of a lot of clubs. Sometimes they want to fight us when it happens. People run away and act scared. But theres nothing to be scared of, its all natural bodily functions. I think it’s funny when people get mad.”

Hey ladies, wanna play a little game I call Schrodinger’s pussy?

Don’t try to outweird me, three-eyes, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal ~ Zaphod Beeblebrox

Clone kids not included with T’s

I may have to steal this idea for this weekend. Thanks!

“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.”~Tommy Cooper (1921 – 84) English comedian

{Dallas Clayton}

What can we deduce from this? Kids these days that wear skinny jeans are pussifed. Real men wear baggy pants with a shotgun hidden in it.

It’s a cold world, better pack your own heat!

Beer, Tobacco, Saturated Fat, Trans-fat, Chocolate, Soda, Coffee, any type of candy, improperly worn shoes, movie popcorn with that fake butter oil, red meat, fatty meat, cheese, salt, too tight of pants, most microwavable dinners, unclean shower curtains, too much internet, listening to your stereo too loud, unclean towels, hot dogs, flip-flops, cooking anything on a charcoal grill, missing breakfast in the morning, social isolation, divorce, not enough sleep, and manual labor are all things that are bad for your health.