The woman cocked her ear “Quick it’s my husband coming through the front door. Hide in the bathroom” she cried.
The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door.
“What are you doing lying on the bed naked?” he asked.
“Darling, I heard you coming up the drive and got ready to receive you.” she replied with a knowing smile.
“Great” he said “I’ll just nip into the bathroom and will be with you in two shakes.”
Before she could stop him he was into the bathroom where he found the lover clapping his hand in mid-air.
“Who the devil are you!” the husband demanded.
“I’m from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths.” the lover replied.
“But..but you’ve got no clothes on?” stammered the husband.
The lover looked down and jumped backwards in surprise and said “The little bastards.”
It’s Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree.
They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Paddy to look at it.
“Well, Paddy, What do you think?”
“Sorry, Shaun, this tree won’t do. Let’s try another one”.
They come upon another nice tree, Shaun brushes it off, and they both look at it.
“How about this one, Paddy?”
“Not quite, Shaun. Let’s keep looking”. This goes on until nightfall. Both Paddy and Shaun are cold, tired, and hungry. “Well, Paddy, what do we do now?”
“Shaun, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not…”