B.A.D.A.S.S

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henny Youngman

Makes it to the Darwin Awards, almost.

“They can call me crazy if I fail. All the chance that I need is one in a million. And they can call me brilliant if I succeed.” ~Ani DiFranco

This movie didn’t get the publicity it deserved.

Idiocracy

I used to work in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate, so I got canned.

Job Application Humor Cover letter: “I would be prepared to meet with you at your earliest convenience to discuss what I can do to your company.” That’s what we’re afraid of … ======================================= Resume: “It is my professional objective to obtain a position which allows me to make use of my commuter skills.” I think [...]

“Life being a game and all. And how you should play it according to the rules”

“Talking to the teacher would sound like a complete waste of oxygen.”

Brilliant. Thank you.

{Via Tyssul Patel}

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.”~Steven Wright

See? this right here is what’s wrong with the Royalty.

Australian comedy troupe The Chaser (best known for breaking into the APEC summit in 2007) have been banned from reporting on the Royal Wedding by the Royal Family. Their Response {Via The chaser} {Read more} P.S this was as funny as they ever got!