Hey ladies, wanna play a little game I call Schrodinger’s pussy?

Don’t try to outweird me, three-eyes, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal ~ Zaphod Beeblebrox

Clone kids not included with T’s

If you call in the next 17 minutes, we’ll even throw in not one, not two, not even 35, but 36 volumes of analysis, product placement, and a Time Traveller’s Guide, all for $38.97!

I may have to steal this idea for this weekend. Thanks!

“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.”~Tommy Cooper (1921 – 84) English comedian

{Dallas Clayton}

I get the feeling, they’re referring to something that has already happened, but I’m missing the reference.

What can we deduce from this? Kids these days that wear skinny jeans are pussifed. Real men wear baggy pants with a shotgun hidden in it.

It’s a cold world, better pack your own heat!

Beer, Tobacco, Saturated Fat, Trans-fat, Chocolate, Soda, Coffee, any type of candy, improperly worn shoes, movie popcorn with that fake butter oil, red meat, fatty meat, cheese, salt, too tight of pants, most microwavable dinners, unclean shower curtains, too much internet, listening to your stereo too loud, unclean towels, hot dogs, flip-flops, cooking anything on a charcoal grill, missing breakfast in the morning, social isolation, divorce, not enough sleep, and manual labor are all things that are bad for your health.

Here’s a headline for the ages: “Canada remains happily mediocre”. If this constitutes witty intellectualism, I give up.

{edited for community references} Darned clever, these Canadians! Perhaps America, Australia and Europe should consider changing their currencies too. Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting. The Canadians have decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radicals from even touching [...]