Good clean humour

CLEAN AND STRESS RELIEVING HUMOR

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his accountant and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on either side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the accountant and the attorney were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, “Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?”

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go, too.”

____________ ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ___ ____

A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he must have overlooked the first notice.

“Oh,” confided the collector with a smile, “we don’t send first notices any more. Everybody ignored them. Second notices are much more effective.”