Humour in Indian English


“Unedited email post”

Tamil Nadu, India , well Known Personality,Mr Jeppier,Chairman of Self financing Engineering Colleges Association ,who is always speaking in English … Sathyabama college Students have Collected & published the Book on Jappier’s Spoken English … Njoy………..with his…………..English………….. Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great Mr. Jeppiar.

The stalwart talks to his students:

# At the ground:—————–

All of you stand in a straight circle. There is no wind in the balloon. The girl with the mirror please comes her…{Means: girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily: ———————

I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students: ———————–

You, rotate the ground four times… You, go and understand the tree… You three of you stand together separately. Why are y ou late – say YES or NO …..(?)

# Sir at his best: —————

Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them. So the next day at s school… (to that boy) – “Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre”

# Sir at his best inside the Class room: ———————————————-

Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. Cut an apple into two halves – I will take the bigger half. Shhh…Quiet, boys…the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..) “Both of u three get out of the class.” Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today… Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver….. Take 5 cm wire of any length….

Last but not the least some Jeppi ar experiences … —————————————————————–

Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

At Sathyabama college day 2002: ———————————————-

“This college strict u the worry no …. U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy”

At St. Josephs fresh years day 2003: ———————————————-

“No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police”

More here, here

25 Responses

  1. It’s Jpr English

    • thoroughly entertaining ……….
      Thanks Mahesh. Keep visiting and posting your thoughts and comment on the other posts as well. – P

  2. lol, thoroughly amusing!

  3. U is good english…i is confuse inga-lish

  4. There is one more….

    He talked abt his close friend in a meeting….

    “one day i go to his house..he not there..i enjoy his wife”

    he meant he was close to that person’s family.

  5. Great!!!!!!!

  6. He is very good in speaking tamil. But once in a meeting for welcoming the chief guest he said ‘Ellorum kai adithu varaverkavum’.

  7. He is brave to present himself as he is with what he knows!!!!! appreciated…..

    • I believe it is not peoples it is just people, I believe you are one among the Jeppiars student……

      • @ Faby – “I believe you are one among the Jeppiars student……” ?? Are you?

  8. plzzzzzzz dont comment against him………….learn to appreciate his talent……………jeppiar is great man…….
    he is helping poor peoples as well as getting job for the poor people……..those who r commenting others must have the sence that when anybody comments against us how it willbe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Thanks Vijay… You have a point there…
    I have always thought that Jeppiar and all the humour attributed to him was a part of local lore…you just confirmed that it isn’t…and that these comments may possibly even be true… which is fabulous… any possibility of watching him live…
    Truly a great man….must thank him personally for the many hours of pure entertainment that he has given me on the net…

  10. great post Pradeep.Thanks

  11. This is hilarious.Wish I’d met the great man himself.

    Thanks and a nice avataar maami…’surreal outlook’

  12. chumma nuchinu iruku

  13. lol…..!!

    http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B0DEFDA1438F936A15755C0A961948260&scp=1&sq=jeppiar&st=nyt

    chk tat out!

  14. All these jokes about Mr. Jeppiar is true or just for fun?!

    Normally, I will not laugh for any jokes but on reading this I laughed uncontrollably. Especially, for this one: “I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?” lolz

    I want to see the man in action at least once.

  15. @ Ram-Almost a year…and thanks is long due. Many Thanks.

  16. hey!… here’s more…
    Once JPR had a foregin guest at his place…
    he served him a cup of curd…
    the foregin guest questioned how the curd was made…
    so heres JPR’S answer
    “MILK IN THE NIGHT BECOME TIGHT TURN TO CURD”…

    • Sathiya-Good one to start a new day :)

  17. I studied in coimbatore.. Its the first time that i am hearing this JPR!

    • hey guys i am one of the student how got graduated in sitaya bama these are some of his sayings that i still remember ….
      ” ladies ware jeans ,boys site seeing .and boys ware shorts ladies site seeing.site seeing that only i talk jeans and short’s no ”

      ” is my glaring head glaring you”?(creaking a joke about his balled head in a function)

      “how much did you put on to this toilet to be”(asking about the construction cost )

      “i not use ‘no’ cell phones and why you not use ‘yes’ cell phones “( when caught a student using mobile in his college )

  18. There are thousands like JPR in Tamil Nadu. I dont see the reason why we should redicule only one of the thousand..lol.. I redicule everyone like that.

    About his greatness helping the poor- In the first place we should wonder how he got so much wealth!

    Most of his statements I have seen lecturers and profs in other colleges makin similar statements

    These are from different ppl:

    I will open the door and throw u out of the window.

    All of u give a standing ovulation (ovation).

    Seeing a girl in the first bench: Give me ass (A book by Robert Ash)

    “Controlled the matrix A into the desired location” – he was tryin to say he could control the metrics given to the system..

    And so on..

  19. #rreall Indian english
    sterday my classteacher told me:
    EAT APPAMS ONLY DONT COUNT KUZHIES.

  20. More quotes added: http://goo.gl/WIDfx

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